Inner Work Has Its Perks
Your Lustorascope for August 2024!
OK, OK, the big news this month is that Mercury is in retrograde and while some might say that means you’d better hole up in a remote cabin and not call or text anyone for fear of ruining all your relationships, we’re not all that concerned! Au contraire, ma sœur, in fact, this whole communication ban has its benefits, because it also stops the flow of nasty rumors and gossip.
This whole month would be a great time away from your phone for this same reason. While it may sound like agony to some, there’s ecstasy to come! Use this phoneless time to rest and recharge—once Mercury resumes forward motion towards the end of the month, you’ll be back at the height of your powers, ready to be heard, understood, and respected like the boss babe you are.
Aries (March 21 – April 19)
Bring Your Aries Aesthetic to Life
A vision for your ideal living space has finally coalesced in your mind’s eye and you’re so close to pad perfection you can taste it. Time to upgrade your furniture and home decor! And that’s not all, you’re also on the verge of renovating your relationships, the recipe for domestic bliss is finally within reach—so get ready to grab it.
Taurus (April 20 – May 20)
Tease Us, Taurus
Flattery will get you everywhere in a month that’s guaranteed to include a heaping helping of verrrry enjoyable flirty back-and-forths with a new acquaintance or two. With your confidence meter fully restocked, you’ll accomplish a great many things, both personally and professionally.
Gemini (May 21 – June 20)
Time to Make Your Move, Gemini
Save your financial worries for another day ‘cause a surprising injection of cold hard cash is coming your way. And what better way to demonstrate your largesse than a treat yo’ self trip to the salon? Putting your best foot forward is nice and all, but what about your best face?
Cancer (June 21 – July 22)
Cancer, It’s Time for a Beach Day
This month will be a good time to press pause on life and reflect on your personal growth… Hey, do you know a good place to do that? Poolside! No pool? Then hit the sand and surf at your nearest beach. A little bit of vitamin D is good for you, just don’t neglect the rest of the alphabet—entering your salad era will help take your complexion to perfection!
Leo (July 23 – August 22)
Get Some ZZZs, Leo
Don’t take this the wrong way, but you look tired! It’s OK, humans need sleep to live after all, and you’ve got a lot of miles to cover this month—best be bright-eyed and bushy-tailed before buckling up for that business trip! So put all your devices to sleep, then bust out the comfy shorts and do the same for yourself, STAT!
Virgo (August 23 – September 22)
Are Those Wedding Bells, Virgo?
Whether you’re planning a late summer wedding or just attending someone else’s, you’re sure to have a grand old time. This is the perfect month for Virgos to cement a lasting love connection, meet someone new, or luxuriate in the benefits of a deep and meaningful relationship. Weddings can be expensive affairs for all involved, but don’t worry about the sticker shock—who could put a price on prospering?
Libra (September 23 – October 22)
Libras Get Physical
Get ready to sweat, Libra, and not just because of the hot August heat! Break out the stretchy pants and sports bra and let your inner athlete shine through—because you’ve got an influx of energy coming down the pipeline. While you work out, trim the fat in your professional life by making short work of those big decisions that’ve been looming overhead for waaay too long.
Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)
Look at the Big Brain on Scorpio!
Mercury may be in retrograde, however your ability to attain knowledge and information is unaffected—in fact it’s supercharged! Embrace the educational opportunities that present themselves to you, but beware of burnout! Exercise self-care, be flexible with any personal deadlines, and spread out your workload to avert potential disasters.
Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)
Do Your Thing, Sagittarius
Freedom! This month brings you a healthy dose of independence at work that should result in a much-needed energy boost and extra time to dedicate to your personal pursuits. Your friends are sure to take notice of everything you’re doing and rally round you to provide support and amplify your mission. Did you even know you were so popular?
Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)
Your Love Life Is Heating Up, Capricorn
Intense romantic vibes are giving you ideas in August. Blame it on the cosmos (the space ones, not the cocktails), the movement of those distant stellar bodies will create the perfect ambiance for single and attached Capricorns alike. Singles are certain to see sparks with someone new while couples will deepen their emotional intimacy thanks to an amped up level of attraction.
Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)
Set Sail, Aquarius
Pack your bags because you’re headed on a voyage of enlightenment this August, both intellectually and spiritually. Upon your return, you’ll use your newfound knowledge to simplify your life into a haven of comfort and safety. Your relationships will deepen as a result of your personal overhaul—your friends and fam will realize how much you really care and forgive/forget any ghosting that might’ve gone down.
Pisces (February 19 – March 20)
Make a Sanctuary Space, Pisces
There’s good news and bad news for you this August. First the good: Your month is going to be filled to the brim with flirtatious energy during work and play, which will make all your daily interactions SO much more exciting and rewarding than usual. Here’s the bad news: Your financial forecast is looking pretty dim for the foreseeable future—do NOT make any big purchases or bets if you can help it. Luck will NOT be a lady tonight or any other night this month, so put a padlock on that pocketbook!
